Divorce is a major disruptor in one’s life and can bring tons of stress—financial, emotional, and even spiritual. But at the same time, a divorce may help you get back in charge if you have been unhappy in your relationship. As messy as many divorces can be, they can be the start of new things in your life. Have you been divorced or were your parents divorced? Was it the best thing that happened to you or the worst? Let’s talk about it…
Rebecca Soto: “Not divorced yet but planning on getting one. I learned that I can take on more than I ever thought. I had forgotten who I was as an individual. Now I realize that I am a strong person; That I don’t need a husband to know my worth. With God’s guidance and family support, I realize that I can do many things on my own.”
Elsa Sixtos: “Yes divorced 5 times.”
Irene V. Zertuche: “Not a best or worst case situation for me but definitely a learning experience. My ex and I have a great healthy relationship and we all get along – our spouses, kids, grandkids. My parents are also divorced but they’re old school and have not talked or been in the same room since the last day they were together.”
Yvette Elizabeth: “Wow! I was married 13 years- it’s definitely an emotional roller coaster. It’s been the best decision. I’m happier than I’ve ever been! One thing I can say is be smart, know your finances, etc . Get a great attorney!”
Sharada Tholen Sanchez: “My first marriage ended in divorce because he felt he was better without me and the kids. We tried a few times after but it never worked because he was not in the marriage. He just wanted the sex. He left the state and moved back here and he just stopped talking to our daughter and acted like we no longer existed. I raised my kids as a single mom and did a great job. I got remarried. We have had our issues but feel we are stronger now because of it.”
Lauren Browning: “Wow Yvette! You struck a chord with lots of folks with your post on this important topic. It reminds me that we probably don’t know what people are going through so we should all be as nice to others as possible.”
Mikey Barrera: “Unfortunately, I am going through a divorce now after 34 yrs of being with my high school sweetheart. I decided to leave my house. I was unhappy and tired of being cheated on. No one will ever know the real truth but me and her. We have 3 beautiful daughters and I hope that they will forgive me for leaving. They were the reason for me staying so long. They are grown now and have their own lives. Now is my time to be happy. It sounds a little selfish. but who else is going to look out for me. THANK YOU PEGGY BARRERA FOR ALL THE GREAT MEMORIES.”
Daiquiri Minier: “When I first got married to my first wife, I was committed to making it a lifelong commitment. My mother had gone through two divorces, and I told myself I would never follow that path. However, after 12 years of marriage, my wife cheated on me, and it shook the foundation of our relationship. We attempted therapy to salvage our marriage, but she believed she was in love with someone else. It turned out he was married too and had no intention of leaving his wife. Eventually, I made the difficult decision to divorce her. It was a challenging time, and to add a twist, she briefly dated my younger brother, which was quite unusual. It became evident that she had her own personal struggles. Even after the divorce, she continued to try to reconcile with me. We had a child together, and I also raised her daughter from a previous marriage. So, I couldn’t completely sever ties with her. I had vowed never to marry again and spent four years as a divorced single.Then, I met Mary. We started as friends, but our connection deepened into a love that was unlike anything I had experienced before. Mary and I are undoubtedly soulmates. We’ve been happily married for 18 years now, and divorce is not something we ever contemplate. While my first marriage was a disaster, it did bring one beautiful blessing into my life, my daughter. However, my ex-wife made life difficult for my new wife and me. She did everything in her power to try and break us up, often using our child as a pawn in her attempts. It wasn’t until she found a new spouse that she finally left us alone. I’m not an advocate for divorce, but it was the only way I could eventually remarry my current wife. Looking back, I do have regrets about not taking a stronger stance during my divorce. I had evidence of her infidelity, but at the time, I didn’t want to cause more stress for our children. I allowed her to keep the house, a brand new truck, and primary custody of the kids. I walked away with my motorcycle and my DJ system to make a living. In hindsight, considering all the challenges my ex-wife put my new wife and me through, I wish I had pursued a fair legal settlement. However, we live and learn. Ultimately, my one and only divorce, as tumultuous as it was, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Today, I consider myself a faithful Christian man, and I don’t judge anyone who has gone through a divorce. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, divorce is the only way forward.”
Rick Carter: “I was married 17 years & divorced 17 years, since I married a German Irish Red Headed Pitbull, divorce was a blessing… now a date with the ex is called a ‘Silver Alert’.”
Benjamin Godina: “I can’t say mine was the best or worst thing but it sure wasn’t a planned thing. You definitely need spiritual guidance and positive influence. My parents weren’t divorced.”
Veronica Amaro: “Best: Taking control of my life again and finding who I am.
Worst: Him seeing I have control of my life and am successful without him. Now he takes me back to court for more BS. Still dealing with legal issues post 2 year long divorce that ended in 2019. He’s remarried twice.”
Nina A Sanchez: “Growing up in an environment where my parents despised each other was challenging, and being an only child made me feel like a pawn in their ongoing conflict. Witnessing my mom’s struggle to find a loving husband and father figure for me, while my dad never fully accepted me as his own daughter, made it difficult for me to form healthy relationships. I felt a desperate need to find the love and stability of a “family,” often spending time at friends’ or boyfriends’ houses, particularly if they had close-knit families. I would rush into relationships but always kept one foot out the door. Marriage didn’t hold much significance for me; I’ve been married twice and engaged several times. It felt easy to leave and not look back, thinking there would always be a “next.” I wasn’t sure if my choices affected my children, but they did. One of my children is married and chooses not to divorce despite being separated and moved on for years. Another is on their second marriage, going back and forth. My sons, on the other hand, have no interest in marriage, relationships, or having children. I’m unsure if enduring my first marriage for 15 years or staying as long as I did had a lasting impact on my children. However, what I can say is that either way, it does affect the kids. The advice I would offer to others, regardless of the decisions you make in your own relationships, is to never use your children as pawns to punish your ex-partner just because the two of you couldn’t make it work together. Swallow your pride and, at the very least, co-parent for your children’s sake because it’s not their fault, and they represent our future.”
