This week, we took our grandsons to breakfast. My oldest grandson is very well behaved. The youngest is not so well behaved. He tends to test the waters and be defiant. Today was no different. As we were leaving the restaurant, which had no other customers but us, we began having issues getting him to put his seatbelt on. Grandpa was getting ready to get in the backseat with him to make sure he did not remove the seatbelt while we were driving when two SAPD officers pulled up on us. They asked us what was going on and said they were called out for a family disturbance. I was confused at first but he clarified that the call was for us. Our license plate was given to them for a family disturbance. The officer was very nice and talked to our grandson to make sure he was ok and asked if we would be putting his seatbelt on and took our information. Last week, in one of my posts, several people commented that parents need to start parenting their children again. My question is how, when even just talking to my grandson warranted a call to the police by a passer by. When we were little, our parents just gave us a look. If the look didn’t work, parents spanked or smacked their children in public even. It almost seems like a catch 22. I spanked my children when they did something that was dangerous to them or something they knew they should not have done and I was consistent. Nowadays, I think it would be considered abuse. In this day and age, how do you parent without having authorities called on you? Let’s talk about it…
Chris Castillo: “Yvette, I think this is a touchy subject for a lot of parents. But I also think this is the problem with children nowadays. Parents don’t discipline them, and it shows. No respect for themselves or others. We have raised our son to say thank you, yes ma’am, no ma’am, open the door for his momma and others and help when he can. We see kids his age and are so disrespectful and we just get upset at the way they speak to their parents or others. It’s a shame because they are our future. I do feel a spank is okay when they do not pay attention or continue to act out. Sometimes talking to them isn’t enough and you have to bring out the chancla (just kidding). I too remember back in the day that my dad just had to look at me a certain way and I knew to stop doing whatever I was doing. It was fear but more so respect because I never wanted to disappoint my daddy. We discipline our son, we punish him when it’s called for but it’s a rare occasion that we have to do that. Then again, those people calling law enforcement, maybe they were concerned for the children. Which is a good thing when people actually pay attention but we also have to help each other out and be kind to one another.”
Todd Forbes: “That call was unwarranted! I would have mentioned this very thing to the cops that this is a waste of their time and resources and that they should also question the person that made the call! Parents need to set boundaries and expectations for their kids or in your case -grandkids! The absence of which is the number one problem with this generation! Time out is for minor offenses-corporal punishment needs to be on the table. Not like when I was a kid, that you get backhanded for cussing at the table, but for pure disrespect and horrible behavior such as you described! Spare the rod and spoil the child! Parents decide what kind of adults they become by their willingness to give tough love when that’s what’s called for.”
Rebecca Perez: “I am sorry, call the cops if
you want. I will not tolerate my grandkids
disrespecting me in any way shape or form. I
will give them 3 verbal warnings about how
they act or behave. If I have to say it for the 4th
time, it’s done with my hand to their butt. If
it continues, then it gets harder. Always with
my hand, never with anything else. I let their
parents know why I did what I did. Thankfully,
they have always respected me and know I
would do it if I had to. I also let parents know
that if they don’t like it, then you can keep your
badass kid. I have raised them and I don’t need
to help with theirs. Now that being said, I have had someone look at me ugly and say something when my granddaughter was younger. She tried to hit me. I spanked her hand and told her why I did it. Then, I told the woman who was making comments that she needed to mind her own business because I was making sure she didn’t grow up to beat her up one day. This
is the problem; if we discipline our kids, we
are bad parents and if we don’t, we didn’t raise
our kids right. I always told my kids there is a
difference between discipline and abuse. If you
ever call the police on me when I discipline
you, when I get out, I will show you abuse so
that I will go to jail for a reason.”
John Santos-Estella Griffith: “It is a catch
22. We’ve had similar problems this year. It
sucks because it makes me feel bad as a parent
even though I know I’ve never done anything
to harm my children and never will. The fact
that people can do something like call the cops
and waste their time is ridiculous. There is
no way to stop it which sucks. In all honesty, it
was good intentions but still not right. People
really should mind their own business! It has nothing to do with how we discipline. People are just plain nosey. Just because things are done differently than how someone else would do it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.”
Manny Santana Montilla: “It starts at home, then the look works. I had an enabling ex-wife that didn’t understand discipline because she basically raised herself with 8 siblings with her father after her mother abandoned her (she then did the same). Both parents have to be on the same page or that’s where you will lose them. They have to be able to have a healthy respect for someone in their circle. Normally, that was the father’s job where I grew up. Nowadays, that’s not the case.”
Michael Momo Chazz Martinez: “When I worked for the city of Hondo, I was dispatched to a disturbance at a residence. Father explained his teenage son took his car without permission. I asked if he wanted to press charges and he declined saying he wanted to spank him. Mom piped up from inside that she’ll press charges if he hits him. I explain to the dad that he can spank him. Dad worries aloud about his wife calling CPS. I tell him that I’ll stand by to make sure it’s just discipline and not abuse. Dad whooped his behind. Mom called 911 on me for allowing “abuse”. My Lieutenant shows up and asked what was going on. After the explanation, he tells mom that if she abuses 911 again, he’ll take her to jail. I think the restaurant employees were filming you and called the cops with the hopes of a viral video.”
Carmen Madariags: “In the privacy of home is where discipline is best applied! Even if they act poorly in public, wait until you get home to apply discipline! That “wait” was part of the fear! The younger we start discipline the less likely we are to have trouble as they grow older! That is when, only “the look ” is necessary. Sadly, there is a move towards limiting parental authority, and there are always eyes, lots of eyes in every public arena. The Bible teaches a man who does not discipline his child does not love his child. A little chancla on the booty does well while slapping, cussing , screaming or excessive force do great great harm. I know this personally from the way I grew up. So we must control anger without compromising right from wrong!!! We must be wise as serpents, gentle as DOVES! Thank you HOLY FATHER SON and HOLY SPIRIT for co-parenting with me or I would have never made it!”
Joseph Martinez: “ How I remember those words….”wait until we get home”. Sure enough, my parents never forgot and nor did I.”
Carolina Roberts: “The thing is, nowadays, they don’t know the difference between discipline and abuse. Quickly it’s considered abuse by adults and children. When it’s something that the child doesn’t want, like no TV time, no phone, not being able to go somewhere, it’s “ABUSE”. A spank you for misbehaving, Abuse. When real abuse is not being fed for days, beating for days, verbal or mental or being restrained, tied up, locked up. These things are abuse. But they want to cry abuse because they didn’t get what they wanted or go where they wanted. Being able to discipline your child needs to be allowed. It’s not all abuse, there is a difference.”
Ernest Sanchez: “The Chancla!”
Carr Rodney Rico: “Without a doubt, that was a Karen! Keep doing what you do, look at what kids with no supervision are doing.”
Angi Stephens Friesenhahn: “When my oldest son was six, I had a couple threaten to call CPS on me in a parking garage. My son has a walker and he knew how to go up and down curbs. He saw a ramp and wanted to go down. It was out of the way since we were parked about 3 spaces up. I had my middle son in the stroller and we were going to be late for my older son’s therapy. He stood and screamed at me as people came and went into the building. Some gave me ugly looks, some were sympathetic and some were encouraging. Then, this couple came out. I popped the stroller down and said I was going to the car and my son went down the curb and started stomping to the car. I had to grab the side of the walker to get him out of the middle of the aisle so not get hit. This couple starts screaming at me because my son is crying and I ignored them. I put my infant in, then my oldest. I had to move him over to the side to buckle him since he was next to the carseat. They said I shook him and called CPS. I told them to get my license plate and some other not nice things. I was shaking when I got to his therapy. They saw his walker and assumed. Fast forward to now, he just graduated with his BA with a 4.0. People need to mind their own business.”
