I have a friend whose husband passed away in February and her sons do not want any men visiting her at home or her properties. She was always faithful to her husband. She has a friend from high school who came back into her life. Doesn’t she have the right to keep living even if her husband couldn’t? I have another friend who started dating after a year. His daughter was very angry and said this was not acceptable. She stopped talking to her father. Another friend started dating two months after his wife passed away suddenly. His kids were so disappointed as he “flaunted” his relationship on social media leading them to think this was probably going on before mom passed. My dad was 45 when my mom passed and didn’t bring anyone around us for several years even though we were adults. When he did, he stayed with that same person until this day. We were all very supportive of my dad. Would you want your significant other to move on if you passed first? Would you be OK with your parents moving on within the first year? When is it appropriate for someone to start dating after their significant other has passed? Let’s talk about it…
Melissa Villarreal Flores: “24-48 hours.”
Ernest Sanchez: “He or she should kick the kids out, and live his or her life to the fullest. Don’t let life pass you by.”
Diana Laque Irias: “There is no “right or wrong” time. There is no set time that says when you’ll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and make sure you aren’t trying to satisfy someone else’s idea of when you’re ready or not.”
Queta Rodriguez: “It is not up to anyone but the surviving spouse. I can see being sensitive to the children but not abiding by some arbitrary time frame. I would want my partner to find happiness again, not to be left behind in sadness and misery.”
Chris Castillo: “My dad passed first and us daughters would encourage mom to get out and meet people or get a “friend” and she’d say “heck no! I don’t want another viejo telling me what to do.. I’m free.” As far as me personally, I told my wife I would haunt her.. LOL. No but seriously.. LOL.”
Victor Landa: “What’s magical about one year? It seems arbitrary. Some people live a lifetime in a day.”
Ruben Ruby Chavez: “My grandmother was young when my grandpa passed. She was like 35 and never had another man afterwards because of her children. I don’t think that was fair.”
Joann Laque: “I believe everyone deserves to be happy. Our kids will never accept one to move on. Even if parents divorce, it’s like a death in their eyes. Our kids will grow and move on with their own lifes and forget they have parents. I, myself, was OK with my mom and her partners but when it came to my dad, I just couldn’t allow it. Yes, now I know it was very selfish of me. I didn’t think of his happiness but maybe because the women he found used and abused him; I put a stop to that. Ever since that experience, I never thought any woman was good enough for him. But in the end, I realize maybe I should have let him keep loOKing. My bad, but no one was good enough for him.”
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Gene A. Gomez: “My mom started dating a year after my dad passed. I was a teenager. But I was OK with that. We all deserve to find happinesses.”
Mary Svetlik Watkins: “I think the children have no say in what mom does if they are already grown. We aren’t just parents but humans with lives that don’t always involve our children. Be happy but if she’s a cow I’m going to haunt her.”
Norma Sanchez Martinez: “I feel that if I were to pass before my husband, I would want him to move on and not be lonely, but I would like him to wait about a year before he would bring her around our children and make sure that she is someone that he would make a life with to make him happy.”
Virginia Carrillo: “I actually had this conversation with my husband and children. And told them if I should pass before him I want him to find happiness again. I am OK with that and I want them to know.”
Charlene Smith: “I believe it’s selfish to interfere with a parents choice to move on and enjoy companionship. They are adults and don’t need adult children getting angry because they can’t move on and accept everyone needs love. So what if a companion lives in the same house? The deceased is not there and it’s not cheating. Not attending family events is shallow. Live your life and let parents live their life. Let go of that trying to control someone. Spend six months minding your own business and the other six months staying out of other people’s business.”
Tracy Trevino: “Absolutely. Move on. I don’t care as long as they treat my children with kindness. Loneliness is what will destroy the person left behind. Children don’t really have a say so. They grow up and choose their partner and typically we have no say so. Live and let live. One month, One year… who cares as long as they are happy.”
Michelle Hernandez Butler:
“The next day!”
Irene V. Zertuche: “I think each relationship is different. Some people just can’t be alone and move on quickly because they need someone in their life to make them happy. I’m not saying this makes it acceptable but that’s usually the main reason people move on quickly.”
Monica Mendez: “For me personally, watching my stepdad flood his social media with pictures and posts not even 2 months after we laid my mom to rest was too soon. Also, I had to find out through screenshots that were sent to me. Maybe had he taken the time to talk with us and let us know he was ready to move on, I would’ve been more open to the idea. I feel like it’s a dishonor to my mother that was cheated out of life. If the tables were turned, I would’ve talked sense into my mom to not make it public rather than egg her on and support her decision. At this point, I can care less about his personal life. I just won’t tolerate her being in my mothers home or attending family functions.”
Lydia Curran: “It doesn’t matter what I think because if I’m gone, I’m gone. He could do whatever he wants. But I will be haunting him if he does..LOL.”
